Barley is an elf with a mustache and afro wearing sunglasses and a classy waiter outfit. To say he looks merely anachronistic is too generous. He always keeps a spectacular variety of spirits on his person, from which he mixes drinks to magical effect (literally).


Barley is a mixologist from the mysterious Twilight Bar Room, home to a clan of master bartenders who devote their every waking hour to devising new menus every day. It’s said anyone with the fortitude to go in for a hard night’s drinking and stay conscious into the dawn can enter Drunkard’s Lemuria, and attain enlightenment. Though it’s unlikely that they’ll remember it afterwards.

Barley is over five hundred years old, and has spent much of that time gathering drink recipes from around the world. Many brave men have fallen to his menus. His secrets to youth are drink and dance; being an elf probably helps too.


208 Proof Dwarven Firewater (Fire Bomb) – “You gotta be careful with this one. If you pour it too fast, you could lose a hand.”
Whitethrone Royale (Frost Bomb) – “The winter wolves say it has a minty aftertaste, but nobody else can feel their tongue long enough to tell.”
Glitterschlager (Glitter Bomb) – “No one can resist the delicious taste of cinnamon sugar in their eyes.”

Glitter Bomb (Su): Causes a glitterdust effect in the bomb’s radius. The blindness effect only applies on a direct hit. Deals -1 damage per die.

Were-Whiskey (+Str, -Int) - "It's mostly just PCP."
Napaciza Retsina (+Dex, -Wis) - "Sweetened with lead syrup and with just a whiff of turpentine. I've never told anyone the rest of the recipe: nobody's asked."
Dwarfhead Double Stout (+Con, -Cha) - "Every cask contains a bit of hair from the beard of a high priest of Torag."

1st Level Drinks
Cure Light Wine (Cure Light Wounds) – “A bit watered down for my tastes, but popular all over.”
Merman Margarita (Touch of the Sea)
Pinpoint Porter (Targeted Bomb Admixture)
Shielding Cider (Shield) – “Taldan shields are traditionally made from apple wood, mainly because of this fine beverage.”
Small Beer (Reduce Person) – “More of a thin porridge than a drink. Safe for children—pretty good way to prank your kids, too.”
True Strike Tequila (True Strike) – “The right kind of tequila can make your hand perfectly steady. As for the other kinds…”
Very, Very Tall Whiskey (Enlarge Person)
Crafter’s Fortune
Comprehend Languages
Honeypot Mead (Ant Haul)
Shock Shield
Disguise Self

2nd Level Drinks
Invisibility (Optical Chamomile)
Ablative Barrier (Ablative Absinthe)
Alchemical Allocation
Vomit Swarm (???)
Ustalavian Lager (False Life) Has an undead kick. Learned at Bag Island.
Resist Energy Learned at Bag Island
Fox’s Cunning (Vulpine Vermouth)
Imbue with Addiction

3rd Level Drinks
Water Breathing
Samuel’s Brandy (Heroism) – “Claret is the liquor for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.” — Samuel Johnson

Actual Drinks
Absalom (Manhattan)
Osirian Hurricane (Fermented sugarcane juice and milk from a “household deer”)
Fall of Aroden (Tequila and energy drink)
Elven Blossom (from Temple of Cayden Cailean in Port Peril)
Taldan Single-Malt Whisky

As of Level 7

Elf Alchemist 7
Medium humanoid (elf) N
Init 4 (4); Senses low-light vision; Perception +10

Str 7
Dex 18
Con 12 (14)
Int 25
Wis 11
Cha 7 (5)

AC 18 (18), touch 14 (14), flat-footed 14 (14) (4 Dex, +4 armour, +3 nat, +2 nat)
hp 52/52 (0/64) (7d8
7 7 favoured class)
Fort +7 (
Ref 11 (11)
Will 4 (4); +2 vs. enchantments
Immune sleep
DR 5/- (nonlethal, 0/30)

Speed 30 ft. SWIM TAKE 10 = 12
Melee broken bottle -1 (-1) (1d3-2)
Ranged BOMBAAA 9 (9) touch (4d6+9 fire) (DC 20) 12/13
Underwater Light Crossbow 8 (8) (1d6)

Alchemist Extracts Prepared (CL 7th)
1st—pinpoint porter, shielding cider, small beer, touch of the sea, touch of the sea, touch of the sea (6)
2nd—ablative barrier, barkskin, barkskin, optical chamomile x2 (5)
3rd—heroism, heroism (2)

Base Atk 5; CMB +3 (5); CMD 17 (17)
Feats Throw Anything, Splash Weapon Mastery, Arcane Strike, Craft Wondrous Item, Drink is Life
Skills 9/level x7 (54)
Athletics 0 (0 ranks)
—Swimming (
2) (0 ranks)
Alcohol 20 (22) (7 ranks)
Arcana 17 (19) (7 ranks)
Bluff 12 (14) (7 ranks)
Diplomacy 11 (13) (4 ranks)
Intimidate 5 (6) (7 ranks)
Fly 11 (13) (7 ranks)
Legerdemain 10 (12) (3 ranks)
Perception 10 (12) (7 ranks)
Sense Motive 5 (7) (5 ranks)
Sociology 5 (6) (7 ranks)
Stealth 14 (16) (7 ranks)
UMD 18 (20) (7 ranks)
+2 swimming, -1 ACP bonus
2 more

Traits Pragmatic Activator, Student of Philosophy
Languages ARRR, Common, Elven, Celestial, Draconic, Goblin, Orc, Sylvan, Tian
SQ discovery (infusion, precise bombs, frost bomb, glitter bomb)
Combat Gear 20 bolts, alcohol, leather armour, potion of levitate, scroll of nature’s ally III, scroll of command undead, 516 gp, 10 sp, 8 cp, 2 manspider venom, 4 merman margaritas (potion of touch of the sea), wand of mage armour (d12 charges), wand of cure light wounds (d8 charges), +4 headband of vast intellect (fly, intimidate), +2 cloak of resistance, tattoo kit


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